Vixen, The Randy Reindeer: Santa Takes His Pleasure by Chastity Seams

*** Rated 2 Stars ***

Well... that was.. certainly something else!
Uhm. Yea. So... ehm, not sure what to say really... Other than maybe:

I will never look at Santa Claus the same way ever again, that's for sure! I really had no idea what goes on at the North Pole!

There was Vixen, the sexy reindeer

Also there were a couple of naughty elves...

And one very angry Santa!

Was it weird! Absolutely!
Was it shit? Kinda!
And I have improved my vocabulary when it comes to a certain body part I guess, so that's... good?

All in all a fairly successful Weird Shit Wednesday read! :D

Snowman With Benefits by Marshall Thornton

*** Rated 2 Stars ***

Cute story with a happy ending.

I am a little disappointed, as it didn't have a lot of weird. Except the snowman coming alive of course...
And it was fairly well written.

All in all an ok story. I just didn't find it very entertaining. 'Happy endings' and 'cute' isn't what I'm after when reading weird books ;)

And here are some random images I found involving snowmen just because I found them funny:

Goblin Gangbang by J.K. Waylon

*** Rated 1 Star ***

Another Weird Shit read.

So. Yea. Well the book features an orc. Who is hungry but easily distracted...

There are also some ogres involved.

And of course a whole bunch of goblins...

Stuff happens, girl has to perform to save her own life... Repeatedly. And... yea that's pretty much it...
I didn't find it terribly interesting to be honest.

So I was ready to

Stuck On You by Jasper Bark and Joe Mynhardt

*** Rated 4 Horrified Stars ***

It has taken me some time to write this review. Firstly I had to recover from the shock. Then I had to try to figure out what to rate it.

This is a horrible book. But the blurb warned me of this before I started it. I guess I just though it was exaggerating. But it most certainly was not. It truly is really sick and twisted.

Now, the thing is I've read a lot of horror books. And rarely do I actually find them that horrifying. Until now. This book actually had me cringing several times, and I don't think I'll ever get some of the mental images out of my head...

(For more details on how I felt while reading this book, check out my status updates under my review at Goodreads)

Back to my rating! I was initially considering giving it 3 stars. But then I realized that it needs rewarding for actually grossing me out! So 4 stars it is!

So if you're looking for a quick read that will gross you out and stay in your brain forever, this is it. Just make sure you haven't just eaten. Or are about to eat. Or that you won't be eating pork any time soon...

But if you are in any way squeamish -  stay away from this book!!!

My Robot Body Will Make You Cum by Dixon Heurass

*** Rated 2 Stars ***

This is a by-product of  Weird Shit Wednesday


This is the story of James. He wants to be a robot and has been dressing up as one whenever he gets a chance.

He is a true gentleman.

"Long ago, James had installed cameras in the feet of his robot costume in order to easily grab upskirt crotch-shots of the girls in the crowd while he distracted them with blinking lights and booking sounds."

Despite everything James manages to get married. When James tells her that he wants to take the full step and actually become a robot (his life ling dream!) she is not very enthusiastic. James (ever the gentleman) decides to become a robot anyways and gets it done in secret.

When he walks in the door his wife is slightly surprised...

What follows is the weirdest (and quite violent) but apparently very pleasurable interactions between a robot and a human. And apparently his wife forgives him for turning into a robot when she finds out what he can do...

I'm slightly worried about James though, after a reference that parts of him are already rusty... Surely that should take more then a couple of days?

All in all an interesting read!

I Fucked the Puppet by Fannie Tucker

*** Rated 1 Star ***

Another Wednesday = Another  Weird Shit Wednesday read!

This time we get to read about.... Puppets!

So we have Emily, who is a back-up dancer for "Dongo the Puppet Show". A job she doesn't like because she wants to be a ballerina.

One night after the show Dongo shows his true self - turns out he is alive and wanting some action!

Emily decides that doing it with a puppet is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so she decides to have some fun...

And apparently doing it with a puppet means you get to

I'm kinda disappointed in this read. It didn't make me LOL. I like LOLing.

But hey, there is always next Wednesday, right?

Punished By The Dark Unicorn by Hunter Fox

*** Rated 1 Star ***

So it is again time for a horrible fantastic read with my partners in crime friends at Weird Shit Wednesday!!

And this week we are going back to the source, and what started our little group in the first place! Hunter Fox and unicorns! Excited!!

So we have a heartbroken man named Adam who decides to jump on the first flight to Europe as he needs to get away and have an adventure.
The first half of the book describes his travels to Finland...

But then! Finally! In enters

But the unicorn has got evil intentions!!

And Adam quickly realizes that this unicorn has something special planned for him...

Not that Adam has any objections to these plans... I guess that's one way to get over your ex-boyfriend, right?

All in all a successful Wednesday read, Hunter Fox does not disappoint! Spelling mistakes and all! i will say it was quite predictable though, being very similar to the previous book Ravaged By A Unicorn.

No regrets though, Hunter Fox is the hero of Weird Shit Wedesdays! And it's great to read a book that is true to the spirit of the group ;)

Pet to the Tentacle Monsters! by Lilia Ford

 Recieved for free from NetGalley in exchange for a honest review

*** Rated 1.5 Stars ***

 Spoiler warning

There has been an alien invasion and humans are now living in refugee camps. After a silly prank that ruins a lot of the camps food supply Benji gets picked up by an enforcer and put up for adoption by the aliens (this is apparently how justice is served).

His first meeting with the alien is a little pink and tentacled creature that seems friendly and so he names it Kitty.

The second alien he meets is a creature with black tentacles so he names it Black. He (?) is completely different from Kitty and demands that Benji does what he is told while Black has his way with him, or he gets punished.

Benji decides that he has deserved punishment and so is ok with this treatment. OK, fine, I can overlook this instance of tentacle-rape. I guess.

Cue Silver. Alien creature number 3.

And with him comes full fledged tentacle-rape.

Now I have read my fair share of tentacle erotica, but the interactions between Silver and Benji is just... too much.

And in the end Benji decides to stay with them?? He would miss them all too much... Stockholm syndrome anyone??

So... not my favorite tentacle read...